Week 1

I've always admired people who do project 365 (take a photo that represents every day in their life), but I just don't have the time for that. I would like to try to do a 52 week project this year though and post the photos here, maybe it will help me be better about blogging.

I thought this was appropriate for this week since today I began homeschooling my son. I've been fighting with the school for a year and a half to get him the IEP that he needs, something that would actually help him, and so far all I've been able to accomplish is and IEP that is based on his "behavior" not his medical needs. Needless to say, I'm over it. There are just certain skills that my son doesn't have that he needs to be taught in order for him to learn and the school can't or won't address those skills.

I have never been a proponent of homeschooling, I think there are benefits to being educated at school--if you know how to sit still and be quiet, that is. My girls are those cookie cutter learners, and they succeed in school. By the school's standards, my son is a failure even though he's the one of the three that has scored highest on gifted testing. I thought, given his intelligence, the school would be anxious to help my son out, his potential is so high. I've seen many of my friends or friends of friends who have children who struggle in school get help, so I really thought it would be easy. Boy was I wrong. I feel like his intelligence hinders him, like they just focus on that he won't do his work, they don't consider for a moment that maybe he can't do his work because his brain doesn't work the way other kids' brains do. Because it's not a question of whether he's smart or capable enough to do the work, the school turns it into that he is just defiant and he's a problem. This isn't to diminish kids who struggle in school, they need help just as much as my son does. But the problem I have is that my son needs help. Bottom line. And the school won't give it to him.

And so homeschool. Considering I just began my business about 8 months ago, and have already been having trouble balancing all the demands on my time, this is probably the worst idea I've ever had. But, I believe that if I focus on my son's needs first, my business needs will be able to be met. Maybe that means I'll have to scale back my plans for my business this year. Maybe, once again, it's not yet time for me to do what I want to do because it's time for me to continue devoting everything to my children, maybe they're just not ready for me to work full time yet. Whatever it is, I know that this is the right decision for my son so I'm doing it and having the faith that my needs will be met, probably through ways that I haven't even thought about.

So today was our first day. No screaming, crying, or tantrums yet--from either of us. I know not every day will be like today. There will be days of terrible frustration for both of us, days when I know I will not want to spend another minute with him and he with me. But for today, it was a good start. We didn't accomplish everything I thought we would, but we did enough. Part of homeschooling him is me being able to decide that, even though he didn't finish the placement test, an hour of math is enough for one day. And we'll just do our best tomorrow, that's all I can ask.