The first assigment of the semester

Well, this is the first assignment that has to be turned in anyway. I'll have to post our first official assignment later as its due date isn't until next week so I haven't finished editing it yet. Anyhow, this is what I did for our first assignment this semester. We were given the choice of anything we wanted to do, it just had to fall into the category of fine art and not include pets or animals.

I was really challenged by the idea of not having an actual assignment, so it took me a few days of thinking to figure out what I wanted to do. I finally decided to do oranges for two reasons: they're visually stimulating and they have meaning throughout my life. When my grandparents first moved to where I grew up, it was orange groves everywhere you could see. As a child, I loved to eat any kind of fruit and oranges were in my top five favorites that I could eat whenever. The childhood home that I have the most fond memories of had an orange tree in the backyard and I remember going out there to pick oranges only to get stabbed by the thorns more often than not. We have some distant relatives who own an orange orchard and so every few years we end up with a ton of the most delicious oranges and I just can't get enough of them. Now as an adult, trying to lose weight and be healthy, I have discovered a kind of orange that I'd never heard of before (Cara Cara) and have fallen in love with this sour sweet variety. I probably eat at least three oranges a day right now, and whenever I'm craving sour candies, I can eat one of these to satisfy these cravings. Sour patch kids have nothing on them.

So with my idea settled, I had to figure out how I wanted to photograph them. I had decided to do a series, but I think you can see I was torn between two ideas and so one photo doesn't fall into the category of what the majority of them were and it doesn't fit. Although my professor didn't seem to like my second idea as much, when I have time I might have to edit some of those images and throw them up here to see if it works as a series. If I had more time, I might have tried a few more things so that all five fit the theme I was going with, but I ran out of time. At some point in the future I might try to add to the series of four I have here with other fruits and play with them to make beautiful still life photos with them as well, but that idea will have to go on the back burner for now. I also have to say that I was a bit disappointed with the one on the bottom simply because of how the orange looked when I cut into it. I shot what I wanted before class and then got feedback from my professor and there were a couple I needed to re-shoot, this being one of them. Well, the orange I used the first day to shoot was beautiful inside (it's the one right above it), and I really didn't think I would have a problem getting this shot. I had to purchase more oranges because I'd eaten all of the ones from the first shoot (getting my teased by my class mates about eating my props!). So I purchased more oranges and cut into them with that result. I thought that was pretty odd, so I cut into another one sure I would get a good looking orange on the inside. Same thing. When the third one I sliced into looked the same, I gave up and used the first one I had cut into (mostly because I really didn't think I would be able to eat four oranges in a day and I didn't want them to go to waste).

This shoot was a challenge for me for sure since I was just using window lighting. Whenever I used the flash, it blew out the orange, but in order to get the detail I wanted (especially in the really close up one), I had to really close down my aperture setting so the camera wasn't getting a lot of light. And then I had to figure out how to maneuver my tripod close enough to the table so that I could get super close to the orange in order to use my macro lens. The best part about it being a challenge, though, is that I learned from the experience and that is really all it's about for me right now is just learning as much about photography as I possibly can. I knew after the first day of class that this semester was going to be a huge challenge, but I also know that it will just make me a better photographer in the long run. Here's hoping anyway.

More play time before school

These days I have to get my play time in when I can, between school assignments, my kids, and a husband working more than 60 hours a week. So when I made the cards the other day, I knew I had to follow it up quickly or I was going to lose that creative spirit. This time I used one stamp set that has never had ink and then another that has had little ink. I've also been trying to use my markers more just to get more practice in. On the second one I really tried to get out of my comfort zone a little with the embellishments. I'm not sure I really like them, or that they add to the value of the card, but it's different from my norm, so that's good. Regardless, I had a nice day stamping yesterday. And today it's back to the grind...

Stress Reducer

Sometimes life is so stressful that it makes it difficult to be creative. Lately I've been so wound up that instead of taking the time to make cards or scrapbook, I've just sat around and done a whole lot of nothing. Well, this weekend was really stressful with my mom's surgery on Friday, but I forced myself to start something at least to take my mind off the worry, and I'm really glad I did. I always forget how soothing it is to create something. I don't have anything in mind for these cards, just that I haven't made cards in forever and my card supply is getting pretty low. But I've had this set for awhile and haven't inked it up yet so I thought it was about time to change that. I love the simplicity in these cards but they're still cute. And I really love changing up the colors and getting a card that's a little more whimsical, definitely more my style. Now I think I need to go be creative again so I don't lose my mojo.

Practicing avoidance

I'm really good at avoidance. It is very easy to assume the position of an ostrich with my head in the sand when life gets hard. It's especially easy when the problems are occurring for family members who don't live nearby; since we don't have to see them often, it gets placed in the back of my mind and pushed to the way side. But there always comes a point where you can no longer avoid reality and it all comes crashing down. That moment began for me last night. At the beginning of December, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. She is scheduled for surgery this Friday to remove the tumor and remove the lymph nodes for biopsy which will determine how aggressively they have to treat her after the surgery. Schedules being what they are, I pretty much only talk to my mom once a week, and other than the days that she's had that have been really bad, it's been pretty easy to avoid thinking about the implications and get on with my every day life. And now, of course, with the surgery so close, it's become too difficult to avoid and I'm discovering all these emotions that I had buried.

My mom and I didn't always get along. Like most teenagers, I really detested my parents. At the time, I was angry at them for not being perfect. That all changes when you have children and you struggle to do your best. It definitely gave me perspective on all that my parents were able to accomplish with the five children they had. My mom was responsible for a lot of the good things about me: my intelligence, my foundation in my beliefs, my compassion and drive to be a good mother among other things. Of course she also passed on the scrapbooking gene, so I definitely have to be grateful for that. I know from talking with her that this journey she is on has really shown her how much she is loved. I may not be as eloquent as I would like to express how I feel about my mom, so I will just keep it simple. I hope that she knows that I love her with all my heart.

And now a request. I would ask that you keep my mom in your prayers this week. We may not all believe the same things or practice the same religion, but I believe that our Father in Heaven doesn't care how you come to Him, as long as you do. My family is going to be fasting and praying for her on Friday for her surgery to come out well and for her to recover quickly both from the surgery and cancer. If you feel so inclined, please join us. I know that through faith all things are possible and I have the greatest faith in my Father in Heaven that my mom will be cared for and will be restored to full health.

Christmas

Christmas this year was fairly difficult for me. I'm normally pretty enthusiastic all during the month of December, going all out to decorate and doing a bunch of fun things with the kids. This year I just didn't have it in me. We decorated a little, but definitely not anywhere near what we usually do. As we approached Christmas, it seemed to bother me more than normal to have the kids start talking more and more about what they were going to get. Every time Jason asked me what I wanted for Christmas morning (since I'd already gotten my big gift), I would get irritated at the thought of him buying me anything else. Finally I came to the conclusion that what I wanted most for Christmas was for him and the kids to make something for me; I wanted them to really put some thought and effort into it. At some point I will have to photograph what he came up with because it was really great, and I'm really lucky to have such a wonderful husband. The kids attitudes got much better and so Christmas morning was really enjoyable. As we were going to bed the night before, I told the younger kids that I didn't want to be woken up until 7 am at the earliest. Well, my alarm went off at 7 and right behind it I could hear my door banging open and Lindsay telling me it was time to get up. Jason and I got up a few minutes later but Bailey was a little harder to persuade. The kids had a really tough time entertaining themselves while waiting for their pre-teen sister to rouse herself out of bed.

 
 
In our family, the kids aren't even allowed to go downstairs to see what Santa left them until they're all together and mom and dad are ready so they're always pretty anxious before then. Finally they got to come down and open their stocking gifts and I popped our traditional Christmas breakfast into the oven--cinnamon rolls. After we ate, we had to hurry up and get ready for church were I really enjoyed the program that morning. I've always been inspired by music so hearing our wonderful choir sing Christmas morning was a great treat. After sacrament meeting, we were heading out the door when the relief society president pulled me aside to inquire about my mother, and poor Lindsay had just about had it. She was just beside herself in her desire to get home and open her gifts she was literally pulling me away from the conversation.


I think when it came down to opening gifts, she was not disappointed as our kids each received some pretty cool gifts.

 
 
Jason had also received his Christmas gift before Christmas, but I had a few little things for him to open and then had each child make something for him that I framed so that he could have things from the kids on his desk at work. Lindsay illustrated a picture of our dog, Charlie, begging for food. Cole made Jason a Star Wars comic that was short but funny. And Bailey took a photo of her dad and put a troll over his face which had him almost in tears he was laughing so hard.

 I think my favorite part of Christmas is getting to spend the time with my family goofing around with each other. Another of our traditions is that we put silly names on the gift tags, so before someone opens a gift, they have to read the names on the tag out loud. This is the first year that I had the kids come up with the names on their own and it was pretty entertaining. One year I really should write down the silly names we've come up with because it is pretty hilarious sometimes. We also try to be funny with our gifts. For instance, the last few months, Bailey and her friends have begun watching a "My Little Pony" cartoon on television, so of course we've been teasing her mercilessly about it. As I began wrapping gifts, I found some old "My Little Pony" Christmas wrapping paper that I had bought years ago for Lindsay and wrapped all of Bailey's presents in it. And of course I gave her Pinkie Pie, her favorite pony from the show. I know that all too soon my kids are going to be grown and won't be with us each year on Christmas, which makes me enjoy these days so much more to just laugh and be goofy with my little family.

Crazy December

December is always craziness for us and this year proved to be worse than usual. In addition to our son being diagnosed earlier this month, my mom has also been in ill-health, so I had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit as much this year. We only half decorated the outside of the house and didn't do some of our yearly traditions this year, but we still enjoyed our Christmas since we got to spend a lot of time with family. I'm going to be posting this stuff out of order since I'm not done editing my Christmas day photos, but this is what we've done since Christmas.

 

 The day after Christmas we loaded up the van and drove to my mom's house. We were bummed to learn that my younger brother wasn't going to be able to be around the same time we were so we didn't get to see all the nieces, but we did at least get to hang out with Josh's family for a bit.

 

 

  

Lindsay and Ella are only a year apart so when the kids get together, they are pretty much inseparable. They used to bicker when they were younger, but they really get along well now that they've gotten a little older. It's nice to see my kids really bond with their cousins even though we only see them a couple times a year.

 Hannah is really funny about Bailey. She calls her "Big Girl" and is pretty much attached to Bailey's hip when we're around. I love to see what a caring and loving girl Bailey is with her young cousin.

 

I knew when we were going out to Cali that I wanted to do a quick shoot with two of my favorite girls and I came up with a few cute shots considering I did it in really high contrast lighting in my mom's front yard in about five minutes. These two are such sweet sisters, I just can't get enough of them.

 

 Ella was a super pro when I told her I wanted to take photos. We got out there and she posed and smiled nicely, it only took a couple pics to get a great one of her.

 

 

Hannah is ever the goofball, so it was a different story with her, but I couldn't help but laugh at the poses she was giving me to work with. She's such a funny girl.

 

 The day after we got there, we met up with Jason's family at the Irvine Spectrum where we hung out all afternoon.

 

We met them at the Barnes & Noble and Dianna was shocked when we got there that Bailey was about her height. If she hadn't been wearing boots that made her a little taller, I think her niece would be the same height. Definitely by the next time we're together Bailey will outgrow her aunt.

While we were hanging out at B&N, Lindsay looked awful cute in some of her Christmas gifts.

We found this hat at a stall at the Spectrum and Cole was in heaven.

Of course we also found a stall that had really cute flowers for your hair so the girls got to pick out some accessories too.

I couldn't resist snapping one of my sister in law by herself. Since she travels all over the world, we hardly get to see her any more so it was really nice to spend some time with her.

And I know Jason always has a great time hanging out with her.

Especially when he gets to take shots at her. I think every time we get together they have to take a shot like this because we have one taken years ago when Jason was still a teenager. Now we can't even get them to pose that way without laughing.

Of course I got to have my fun with my husband when I was telling his family about all the grays he has (hey, I have all the other problems with old age, he has to have one I don't have!), so I got his mom and his sister to inspect his hair for the grays for me.

The kids were happy that Grandma and Grandpa were with us when after mom told them she wasn't buying tickets to the carousel G&G bought them tickets to the carousel and the Ferris wheel. It's always nice to have G&G around to spoil the kids.

It was nice to hang out with them for the afternoon and I know the kids really miss their extended family since we see them once or twice a year.

We all made out like bandits too with gifts from them, the kids all got activity books and gift cards to spend and Jason and I got a nice meal one night this week while the kids were gone with their gift cards to us. Of course I could have done without the A's pillow pet that they gave my husband; I had a difficult time allowing it in the house. Now I'm just trying to think of creative things I can do with it. At least it's an American League team, anything to do with the Giants would have to be burned first to make it look better (sorry, Matt, no Giants stuff for J!). But I think they were equally happy with the gifts we gave them which made us really happy. So while it was a whirlwind trip, it was nice to see our family and celebrate the holidays.

All about Cole

Cole has been having trouble in school for a couple years now. It mostly involved him refusing to do his work although he's perfectly capable of completing the work. This school year started off no different, but I think his teacher this year wasn't happy to just let it go. She has really pushed with him, trying to get him to do what he's supposed to do without success. And then she began reporting things to me that were a little more disturbing, like the fact that he has only one friend at school, or strange behaviors he was displaying (talking to himself, pulling his hair, things like that). We began taking him to a marriage and family counselor hoping that we'd be able to figure out how to get him to do what he was supposed to do, but after the first appointment with the MFC, it became obvious to me that there was something more going on. So, three months ago, I began the process to get him tested by a neuropsychologist so that we could get a diagnosis of what exactly was wrong so that we could then begin to treat it and help Cole succeed in school.

In the meantime, I began to take on a much larger role for his schooling, trying to get him back on track. Our straight A student came home with a D on his last report card, so it was obvious that he needed more help from me. I spent three weeks where I went to his school twice every day. I went in the morning to give him a recess (his grade doesn't get recess until 2 pm which is difficult for a normal 10 year old boy, but impossible for Cole) and then in the afternoon, I would spend 3 hours in the classroom with him helping him stay on track. On the days that he absolutely wouldn't work, I brought him home and did some "homeschooling" with him using the work his teacher gave me. I even kept him home on days after he had a really bad day so that I could get him caught up on his work. I had to stop pulling him out of school because I was told by his teacher that if he reached a certain number of absences that, regardless of the reason, the courts would get involved and I could be fined for not having my son in school (interesting since essentially I was insuring my son was getting the best education possible). I recently stopped spending every day in the classroom with him as well because it just wasn't helping long term. Really what Cole needs is an Individualized Education Plan, but without a diagnosis, the school couldn't help me even though it was obvious to his teacher and I that accommodations needed to be in place for Cole (his principal, in his infinite wisdom, told me that my son is ADD and as soon as we medicate him for that, the problems would be solved basically). It has been a very difficult thing to watch your son struggle so much and know that you are his only advocate, the only one on his side pushing and fighting for him. I just kept thinking that we just needed to hang on for the diagnosis because the IEP was coming if I could just wait long enough for a diagnosis. Of course it was always on my mind that I could just pull him out of school and homeschool him, but I had a lot of reasons I hesitated to do that. The biggest reason I hesitated is that Cole is having problems socially and I felt that it would be counterproductive to pull him out of his biggest social environment.

Last month we finally had the testing date. Cole and I spent 8 1/2 hours down at Phoenix Children's Hospital while the neuropsychologist tested him all day. I prepared myself well for a day in the waiting room with my laptop and books, but while I'd been warned it could take up to 6 hours for the testing, I hadn't actually thought it would take that long. I saw another family in the waiting room with me all day, so I knew they must have been going through the same thing, but even they left before we did. I just kept telling myself that all my time would be worth it if we got a proper diagnosis out of it.

That brings us to yesterday when we had the appointment to get the diagnosis. She diagnosed Cole with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (which autism falls into this category), but it's kind of a catch all when they don't know exactly what is wrong. She said that she knows that there is something wrong with Cole socially but that it's being muddied right now by his second diagnosis, so until we get that under control, she won't be able to pinpoint exactly what is going on with that. Cole was also diagnosed with Depressive Disorder which is impacting everything else that is going on with him and making it hard for him to want to be social. I've set up an appointment with a psychiatrist's office so that we can begin to get that treated, and hopefully once we've got that under control we will see some improvement with everything else. In fact, we are supposed to get it under control and then take him back to the neuropsychologist so that she can get to the bottom of his social problems.

With all of that, from what he was scoring in some things, it is obvious to us why he is having trouble in school. Some of the other things that he tested poorly in were in his executive functioning which is how the brain handles tasks. It handles working memory, our ability to get started with work or breaking down large amounts of work into more manageable parts, and complex problem solving among other things. This alone explains a lot of Cole's problems in school because his brain just isn't capable of handling things the same way. He also has trouble with his processing speed. Much like a computer's processing speeds affect how quickly a computer can handle tasks, so does our brain's processing speed. Cole's speed is just much slower than other people's, so it takes him much longer to complete a task even though if you were going just based on intelligence he should have completed it much faster than most people. This speed is also affecting his fine motor skills, and he's having some trouble with problems that involve his fine motor skills. When explaining these results to us, the neuropsychologist showed us a bell chart and explained how most people fall into the bell shaped range while anything outside the bell shape is abnormal, either high or low. Most of the things that he tested low on, Cole is actually testing in about the average range, but his intelligence is so high that sometimes the difference was twenty points or more which is really abnormal. She was explaining to us how we want to get his functioning skills to match his intelligence more closely. Another interesting factor was his score on independent skills (such as his hygiene, tasks related to taking care of himself). With his intelligence in the abnormally high range, so should his independence fall into that high range. Cole tested so low on this that he would be at the same range as someone with mental retardation. What this has meant for us is that it will be things like us having to tell him five times to brush his teeth before it gets done every single night. Or that if I don't tell him to change his clothes and underwear, he will literally wear the same thing every day. This score didn't come as a surprise to us since we've been dealing with this for a really long time with him, but it does give me hope that maybe we can get this under control. The neuropsychologist already gave us some ideas on how to deal with this, so I'm happy that we can get started on helping him become more independent.

I'm sorry that this post ended up so long, but I hope that I was able to explain things well enough to understand. Since I'm just coming into some of this knowledge, it's hard to explain to others what I'm just starting to understand. For any of my stamping people that have actually made it this far, I hope this explains why I haven't been holding classes the last few months. I hope that as we're able to get him the help he needs that I'll be able to resume doing some of the things I want to do. Obviously as a parent when push comes to shove, you do whatever you have to do for your child first and put your own needs after your child, and that's kind of where I've been for the last few months. As we gain more control over these things, I hope to be able to stamp more and do more of the things I want to do. But, most of all, I just want to see my son succeed at school and be happy.