Practicing avoidance

I'm really good at avoidance. It is very easy to assume the position of an ostrich with my head in the sand when life gets hard. It's especially easy when the problems are occurring for family members who don't live nearby; since we don't have to see them often, it gets placed in the back of my mind and pushed to the way side. But there always comes a point where you can no longer avoid reality and it all comes crashing down. That moment began for me last night. At the beginning of December, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. She is scheduled for surgery this Friday to remove the tumor and remove the lymph nodes for biopsy which will determine how aggressively they have to treat her after the surgery. Schedules being what they are, I pretty much only talk to my mom once a week, and other than the days that she's had that have been really bad, it's been pretty easy to avoid thinking about the implications and get on with my every day life. And now, of course, with the surgery so close, it's become too difficult to avoid and I'm discovering all these emotions that I had buried.

My mom and I didn't always get along. Like most teenagers, I really detested my parents. At the time, I was angry at them for not being perfect. That all changes when you have children and you struggle to do your best. It definitely gave me perspective on all that my parents were able to accomplish with the five children they had. My mom was responsible for a lot of the good things about me: my intelligence, my foundation in my beliefs, my compassion and drive to be a good mother among other things. Of course she also passed on the scrapbooking gene, so I definitely have to be grateful for that. I know from talking with her that this journey she is on has really shown her how much she is loved. I may not be as eloquent as I would like to express how I feel about my mom, so I will just keep it simple. I hope that she knows that I love her with all my heart.

And now a request. I would ask that you keep my mom in your prayers this week. We may not all believe the same things or practice the same religion, but I believe that our Father in Heaven doesn't care how you come to Him, as long as you do. My family is going to be fasting and praying for her on Friday for her surgery to come out well and for her to recover quickly both from the surgery and cancer. If you feel so inclined, please join us. I know that through faith all things are possible and I have the greatest faith in my Father in Heaven that my mom will be cared for and will be restored to full health.