Mom update

I haven't posted in awhile because things have just been too chaotic around here for me to keep up. I've been out to So Cal twice in the last four weeks to visit with and help take care of my mom as she recovered from the surgery to remove the tumor in her colon. She recovered really well from it and has been in really good spirits, so that's been really nice for us. After biopsying all of her lymph nodes around her colon, however, the doctor updated her diagnosis to stage three because of the amount of lymph nodes affected. This means that she will need to have chemo for longer than we originally anticipated. And while she was hoping to return to school shortly, she has had to make the hard decision to be off for the rest of the school year and having the principal tell her class about her condition. I know that she cares very deeply for her students, so this was a really hard thing for her to do, but I hope that it allows her to concentrate on her own health and recovery. This weekend I took the kids out to see her before she began chemo and she decided to go ahead and shave her head now (she has been reading that it is much less traumatic to shave it versus waiting until it falls out), so she had fun allowing her grandkids to do it for her, and of course, with the two of us being scrapbookers, we documented the whole event. All in all, I would say that as we gear up for this next chapter in her healing, my mom is doing very well and is in really high spirits. She knows that all the prayers on her behalf have really been helping and she is grateful to everyone for thinking about her.

Practicing avoidance

I'm really good at avoidance. It is very easy to assume the position of an ostrich with my head in the sand when life gets hard. It's especially easy when the problems are occurring for family members who don't live nearby; since we don't have to see them often, it gets placed in the back of my mind and pushed to the way side. But there always comes a point where you can no longer avoid reality and it all comes crashing down. That moment began for me last night. At the beginning of December, my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer. She is scheduled for surgery this Friday to remove the tumor and remove the lymph nodes for biopsy which will determine how aggressively they have to treat her after the surgery. Schedules being what they are, I pretty much only talk to my mom once a week, and other than the days that she's had that have been really bad, it's been pretty easy to avoid thinking about the implications and get on with my every day life. And now, of course, with the surgery so close, it's become too difficult to avoid and I'm discovering all these emotions that I had buried.

My mom and I didn't always get along. Like most teenagers, I really detested my parents. At the time, I was angry at them for not being perfect. That all changes when you have children and you struggle to do your best. It definitely gave me perspective on all that my parents were able to accomplish with the five children they had. My mom was responsible for a lot of the good things about me: my intelligence, my foundation in my beliefs, my compassion and drive to be a good mother among other things. Of course she also passed on the scrapbooking gene, so I definitely have to be grateful for that. I know from talking with her that this journey she is on has really shown her how much she is loved. I may not be as eloquent as I would like to express how I feel about my mom, so I will just keep it simple. I hope that she knows that I love her with all my heart.

And now a request. I would ask that you keep my mom in your prayers this week. We may not all believe the same things or practice the same religion, but I believe that our Father in Heaven doesn't care how you come to Him, as long as you do. My family is going to be fasting and praying for her on Friday for her surgery to come out well and for her to recover quickly both from the surgery and cancer. If you feel so inclined, please join us. I know that through faith all things are possible and I have the greatest faith in my Father in Heaven that my mom will be cared for and will be restored to full health.