A difficult week

This week has been really hard on us. Not were we just busy like we always are, but the kids really tested us this week. They've been bickering so much lately, I really have a hard time dealing with it. It makes me just want to scream, but of course I hate yelling at them all the time. So that's one of the things that's been going on. Tuesday I took the kids to the dentist, which is a nightmare, especially because I always end up doing it by myself. Lindsay doesn't like the dentist--she's never had a bad experience, but she just hates them touching her or even brushing her teeth. We found out that the girls each have a spot that could turn into a full blown cavity if they don't watch it, so that's always great. And then there's Cole. Last summer he had to have a baby tooth pulled because it was either that or a root canal. So they pulled the tooth and put in a spacer to make sure his teeth didn't shift until the new one came in. Well, his tooth is coming in so they pulled out the spacer--which hurt him really bad. And then we found out that he's got two teeth that need to be pulled for the same reason as last summer. You would think I never tell my kids to brush their teeth. And yes, I could go in there and brush their teeth for them, but 1--I don't have the time and 2--they're old enough to be responsible for themselves and be able to take care of their own teeth. So I'm really frustrated.

In addition to that, Bailey's been doing poorly in school all of a sudden. We've set up and have had her teacher cancel three meetings with him so that we can get a handle on what is going on with her (she has always been a straight A, or close to it, student). From the little bits of conversation I've had with him, she's just rushing through her work and not doing her best. But the straw that broke the camel's back came this week when we found out that he gave the kids a chance to take back their math papers and correct them to improve their grades and Bailey was content with a B. So we had a really long talk with her trying to get her to see that it's unreasonable to be content with not trying your best and just getting by. She also had not brought homework home all week. So, thinking I was clever, I decided to give her work to do for me instead. So I asked her to think about it and set goals for herself. I wanted to see a goal for one week, one month, one year, and when she grows up. The whole time J and I are talking to her, she's just sitting there crying like we're the meanest parents ever. When she left our room, she went into her room and was just screaming, crying so loud that I could hear her all the way down the hall. After she calmed down, she comes in my room, slaps a paper on my desk and walks away. The face up side of the paper said, "Stop acting like you hate me". And on the other side it says, "Goals: 1. Be perfect 2. Be perfect" etc. So I was really frustrated that she had just shut down and didn't even think about anything--not to mention how much it hurt to even have her think for a second that we hate her. But I also knew I needed to just give her space, so I pretty much put myself on time out the rest of the night and stayed in my craft room and let J take care of everything. I was able to have a good talk with her the next night on our way home from her dance class, and she admitted she was just mad.

So to try to smooth things out between us, instead of getting ready for my class I had today, I spent Friday night with Bailey. We went out and shopped for a birthday present for her friend. We went to Justice (a girl's clothing store) and they had a great clearance section. We bought her friend three things and a couple for Bailey and we only spent $10. Then I helped her decorate the plain gift bag and make it cute and I made her friend a Twilight journal. This morning, she asked me to blow dry her hair and pick out her clothes for the party, so I spent time with her on that, and she seems to be much better. It's so hard to find the time to spend individually with each of the kids, but I think it's getting even more important than ever to make sure we each do. I think for me, the toughest thing was her behavior. Not that I'm surprised that she's behaving that way, just that it's coming so soon. I thought we had a couple more years before she turned into a big hormonal mess, but it seems like it's coming now. I think this is one of the things that scares me most about being a parent. When they were little, it was hard work, but at least it was just physical. I could just kiss them and make it better. Now it's just hard--and I think as parents we're all scared of this time because it seems like this is not only the roughest part of growing up but there's also so much potential for screwing up--for the parents too. And I know I'm going to make all my mistakes with Bailey, I guess I just hope to not screw her up too badly. Though I have to say that when I started getting into stamping, I could see then that it was something that I would be able to bond with my girls over, so we at least have that. And as much as I have a ton of glitter all over my craft room now, the bonding time with Bailey was totally worth it.