I know I've dropped off the face of the blogging earth. I can't keep up with my life, it moves too fast. But I was thinking about this today and thought I would share. I've not made it a secret that the last 7 years in Az have been difficult for me. We've been through so much both spiritually and temporally, and most of it has been just plain hard. But a couple months ago I decided to go back to church full time. Not that I ever really left the church, just that I was lazy and only went when I felt like it. But we've been going through things with our kids lately and I decided that I needed to suck it up and go regardless of how I felt about it because it was where the kids and I needed to be. And you know what, it's starting to get better. Not all at once, and not a lot. But a little. And right now that's enough because it's what I need.
So you know what happens when you don't go to church regularly and feed your spirit regularly? You lose that link with our Father in Heaven. For me, I lost the knowledge that He was there with me and really listened to me and wanted to help me. I mean, sure I knew it in the way that primary children can give you that answer when asked, but I didn't really KNOW it deep down. After all, who am I? My needs aren't greater than anyone, I'm not more special so therefore why would He pay attention to me. As the song says, I'm one of the ninety and nine. But I've had two experiences in the last week that have proven me to be 100% incorrect about my assumptions.
I was in the hallway before relief society this week, just hanging out avoiding going to Sunday school. That's when the relief society president came to talk to me about a lesson she had given a few weeks ago. One that really touched my heart and has helped me tremendously on my way back to church and spirituality. She told me how she had really struggled to put the lesson together for that week. So much so that her husband gave her a blessing, and in that blessing he blessed her that the person who needed to hear her message would be there that week. So I'm not arrogant enough to believe that the lesson was aimed just at me. I'm sure we all got something out of it, it was a wonderful lesson. But it started me thinking.
Today I was getting my hair colored, and my friend who does my hair and I were talking about our kids in school. My son is in the same grade as her daughter at school and we were talking about some teachers they'd had the year before. When my friend mentions the really difficult time her daughter had with one of the teachers the previous year. The details she was giving me confused me as to who the teacher was, until she mentioned she was the teacher who came in after winter break--when I had felt very strongly about pulling my son from school and homeschooling him. The stories I was hearing made me know without a doubt that my son would have had a very hard time in her class. I can't know what would have happened if I had left him in school, but I'm left with chills about how this teacher treated her students, especially one who is different and was already suffering from depression.
What I'm left with is a very strong testimony that our Father in Heaven does know every single one of us. He know us, and loves us. He is always watching over us. Just because He does not always give us the answers we seek and we do not always recognize the answers He gives doesn't mean that He's not there giving them. I have been begging Him to show me that He's there for me, and He answered me in a way that I cannot deny. I don't always know why I feel prompted to do things, but I do know that when I heed his promptings, blessings follow. It has only been after I listened and pulled my son from school, so much against what I wanted to do, that He has led me to the right people to try to get the help my son needs in school. After I took the leap of faith, He is blessing me in ways that I don't even realize, my benevolent puppet master in the background laying the groundwork for blessing me so that I don't even recognize He's been there all along. If that's not fatherly love, I don't know what is.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hawaiian Haystacks
One of the other things I'm attempting this year is to batch cook our meals so that we eat out less often while making meal preparation a little easier on myself. This weekend was my first cook (and boy did I cook! I think I was cooking for 12-14 hours between two days), and tonight was the second night of eating the meals I had prepared.
Last night's meal didn't go off so well. I had read that if you were going to freeze and then reheat meatloaf that you should undercook it a little so that it doesn't dry out what you reheat. Well, I think it didn't get enough cooking time (and I'm not sure if it was the before freezing or after freezing cooking time I need to fix). While it looked cooked all the way through, the texture was of ground beef that isn't cooked all the way through. Since I didn't want to risk getting my family sick, I tossed it to be on the safe side. So we ended up eating sandwiches with green beans and cheesy scalloped potatoes.
Tonight's dish was much more successful. I found a recipe for Hawaiian Haystacks (I'm sorry, I don't remember the blog I found the recipe to, but I started my search on pinterest for freezer meals and this was one of the blogs about freezer meals), and everyone loved it. I think the kids liked that they got to choose what toppings they wanted on it too. I couldn't find the original blog I found it from, but this is the exact same recipe on this blog.
Tomorrow night is Chicken Enchiladas, hopefully they will come out well because we all love my enchiladas.
Last night's meal didn't go off so well. I had read that if you were going to freeze and then reheat meatloaf that you should undercook it a little so that it doesn't dry out what you reheat. Well, I think it didn't get enough cooking time (and I'm not sure if it was the before freezing or after freezing cooking time I need to fix). While it looked cooked all the way through, the texture was of ground beef that isn't cooked all the way through. Since I didn't want to risk getting my family sick, I tossed it to be on the safe side. So we ended up eating sandwiches with green beans and cheesy scalloped potatoes.
Tonight's dish was much more successful. I found a recipe for Hawaiian Haystacks (I'm sorry, I don't remember the blog I found the recipe to, but I started my search on pinterest for freezer meals and this was one of the blogs about freezer meals), and everyone loved it. I think the kids liked that they got to choose what toppings they wanted on it too. I couldn't find the original blog I found it from, but this is the exact same recipe on this blog.
Tomorrow night is Chicken Enchiladas, hopefully they will come out well because we all love my enchiladas.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Week 1
I've always admired people who do project 365 (take a photo that represents every day in their life), but I just don't have the time for that. I would like to try to do a 52 week project this year though and post the photos here, maybe it will help me be better about blogging.
I thought this was appropriate for this week since today I began homeschooling my son. I've been fighting with the school for a year and a half to get him the IEP that he needs, something that would actually help him, and so far all I've been able to accomplish is and IEP that is based on his "behavior" not his medical needs. Needless to say, I'm over it. There are just certain skills that my son doesn't have that he needs to be taught in order for him to learn and the school can't or won't address those skills.
I have never been a proponent of homeschooling, I think there are benefits to being educated at school--if you know how to sit still and be quiet, that is. My girls are those cookie cutter learners, and they succeed in school. By the school's standards, my son is a failure even though he's the one of the three that has scored highest on gifted testing. I thought, given his intelligence, the school would be anxious to help my son out, his potential is so high. I've seen many of my friends or friends of friends who have children who struggle in school get help, so I really thought it would be easy. Boy was I wrong. I feel like his intelligence hinders him, like they just focus on that he won't do his work, they don't consider for a moment that maybe he can't do his work because his brain doesn't work the way other kids' brains do. Because it's not a question of whether he's smart or capable enough to do the work, the school turns it into that he is just defiant and he's a problem. This isn't to diminish kids who struggle in school, they need help just as much as my son does. But the problem I have is that my son needs help. Bottom line. And the school won't give it to him.
And so homeschool. Considering I just began my business about 8 months ago, and have already been having trouble balancing all the demands on my time, this is probably the worst idea I've ever had. But, I believe that if I focus on my son's needs first, my business needs will be able to be met. Maybe that means I'll have to scale back my plans for my business this year. Maybe, once again, it's not yet time for me to do what I want to do because it's time for me to continue devoting everything to my children, maybe they're just not ready for me to work full time yet. Whatever it is, I know that this is the right decision for my son so I'm doing it and having the faith that my needs will be met, probably through ways that I haven't even thought about.
So today was our first day. No screaming, crying, or tantrums yet--from either of us. I know not every day will be like today. There will be days of terrible frustration for both of us, days when I know I will not want to spend another minute with him and he with me. But for today, it was a good start. We didn't accomplish everything I thought we would, but we did enough. Part of homeschooling him is me being able to decide that, even though he didn't finish the placement test, an hour of math is enough for one day. And we'll just do our best tomorrow, that's all I can ask.
I thought this was appropriate for this week since today I began homeschooling my son. I've been fighting with the school for a year and a half to get him the IEP that he needs, something that would actually help him, and so far all I've been able to accomplish is and IEP that is based on his "behavior" not his medical needs. Needless to say, I'm over it. There are just certain skills that my son doesn't have that he needs to be taught in order for him to learn and the school can't or won't address those skills.
I have never been a proponent of homeschooling, I think there are benefits to being educated at school--if you know how to sit still and be quiet, that is. My girls are those cookie cutter learners, and they succeed in school. By the school's standards, my son is a failure even though he's the one of the three that has scored highest on gifted testing. I thought, given his intelligence, the school would be anxious to help my son out, his potential is so high. I've seen many of my friends or friends of friends who have children who struggle in school get help, so I really thought it would be easy. Boy was I wrong. I feel like his intelligence hinders him, like they just focus on that he won't do his work, they don't consider for a moment that maybe he can't do his work because his brain doesn't work the way other kids' brains do. Because it's not a question of whether he's smart or capable enough to do the work, the school turns it into that he is just defiant and he's a problem. This isn't to diminish kids who struggle in school, they need help just as much as my son does. But the problem I have is that my son needs help. Bottom line. And the school won't give it to him.
And so homeschool. Considering I just began my business about 8 months ago, and have already been having trouble balancing all the demands on my time, this is probably the worst idea I've ever had. But, I believe that if I focus on my son's needs first, my business needs will be able to be met. Maybe that means I'll have to scale back my plans for my business this year. Maybe, once again, it's not yet time for me to do what I want to do because it's time for me to continue devoting everything to my children, maybe they're just not ready for me to work full time yet. Whatever it is, I know that this is the right decision for my son so I'm doing it and having the faith that my needs will be met, probably through ways that I haven't even thought about.
So today was our first day. No screaming, crying, or tantrums yet--from either of us. I know not every day will be like today. There will be days of terrible frustration for both of us, days when I know I will not want to spend another minute with him and he with me. But for today, it was a good start. We didn't accomplish everything I thought we would, but we did enough. Part of homeschooling him is me being able to decide that, even though he didn't finish the placement test, an hour of math is enough for one day. And we'll just do our best tomorrow, that's all I can ask.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving
It's been almost six months since I lost my grandma, and every so often, something reminds me of her and I get emotional again. The plan was for us to go to Blythe for Thanksgiving and spend it with my family on that side, and especially to see my grandpa. When I woke up Monday morning with a throat so sore that I could barely swallow, I knew my strep from three weeks ago had returned. Not being able to find an appointment that day with any doctor's office in Surprise, I went to urgent care to make sure that I wouldn't be contagious and we could still visit with my family. So we were all prepared to go, I had made enough dessert to feed an army, all we had to do was wake up Thursday morning and drive. And when we woke up, Bailey's throat was really sore again and her glands were swollen. So of course we had to skip our family celebration. Jason and I rushed off to the grocery store to get components for the meal because, of course, all I had was dessert. We were able to pull off a pretty nice meal. We had a roast chicken wrapped in bacon (which kept the chicken really moist!), green bean casserole, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and rolls. And although it was just the five of us, it was nice to talk about what we were grateful for and to make our preparations for the Christmas season, most importantly I think, to make our plans for how we can help others. And even though we gorged ourselves on desserts (well, the kids did; Jason and I were actually pretty reasonable), we haven't made a dent in how many goodies we have in our house.
Today I took Bailey to the doctor, and of course it came back as strep. Talking with the nurse practitioner, she suggested we bring the younger two in to have them tested as she thought they might be asymptomatic carriers. They of course were closing in 10 minutes and the kids were at home, but they were nice enough to stay open long enough to have Jason bring the kids down. Sure enough, Lindsay tested positive for strep, so she's probably the reason Bailey and I keep coming down with strep. So now we just need to get Jason tested and on some antibiotic, and then our whole family will be on antibiotics. 'Tis the season for sharing, right?
Today I took Bailey to the doctor, and of course it came back as strep. Talking with the nurse practitioner, she suggested we bring the younger two in to have them tested as she thought they might be asymptomatic carriers. They of course were closing in 10 minutes and the kids were at home, but they were nice enough to stay open long enough to have Jason bring the kids down. Sure enough, Lindsay tested positive for strep, so she's probably the reason Bailey and I keep coming down with strep. So now we just need to get Jason tested and on some antibiotic, and then our whole family will be on antibiotics. 'Tis the season for sharing, right?
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Long time gone
Wow, I was just looking at my dashboard account to get some information about a post I posted to my business blog and realized the date on my blog for my last post was back in September. That's so sad! So just a quick post today, a little update about everyone. Bailey is still in band and loving it, she's playing the clarinet in advanced band and going to be starting the trombone with beginning band. She writes all the time and has her own tumblr page (don't ask me what it is, she changes it all the time and I can never remember what it is). Cole is doing marginally better in school this year. He's still having the same issues and we don't know how to help him, and I'm still fighting with the school to get him help. He sees a psychologist and psychiatrist often to help him work things out, but that's a long drawn out process so progress is slow, frustratingly sometimes. He really enjoys video games, which we use to help him work on things that are hard for his brain to do in other environments. He started band this year and is doing percussion and is doing really well. Lindsay also started seeing a psychologist for her anxiety, it had gotten to the point where it was just interfering with her life so we wanted to help her with it. She also started band this year and is playing the clarinet just like her big sister. The band teacher loves our family because we have such talented musicians.
Jason is just busy with work and tennis a few times a week. He doesn't have a lot of down time, and when he does it's usually to help me out with housework. My business has taken off this time of year. I've heard this time of year is comparable to a CPA's March and it really has been for me, two to three bookings a week until the middle of December, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been very surprised at how quickly my business has grown and I've gotten so much positive feedback from my clients and their friends about the quality of my work. I love my job very much. I do have trouble learning how to balance the new found work with taking care of my family and the house, but it's nice to be busy. If you want to check out my work, you can view it in one of three places, my website, my blog, or where I post most of my work, my facebook page. I'll be taking our Christmas card photos this weekend so hopefully I will have the time to post them here soon.
Jason is just busy with work and tennis a few times a week. He doesn't have a lot of down time, and when he does it's usually to help me out with housework. My business has taken off this time of year. I've heard this time of year is comparable to a CPA's March and it really has been for me, two to three bookings a week until the middle of December, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've been very surprised at how quickly my business has grown and I've gotten so much positive feedback from my clients and their friends about the quality of my work. I love my job very much. I do have trouble learning how to balance the new found work with taking care of my family and the house, but it's nice to be busy. If you want to check out my work, you can view it in one of three places, my website, my blog, or where I post most of my work, my facebook page. I'll be taking our Christmas card photos this weekend so hopefully I will have the time to post them here soon.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Bad Mom
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Birthday girl
I haven't posted in awhile, but I couldn't let the day go by without wishing a happy birthday to my sweet teenage (yikes!) daughter. I can't believe I'm old enough for a teenager, but she is the best thing I've ever done. My life would never have been the same without her. I'm not looking forward to the next few years, I've heard it's pretty rough with teenage girls, but I know our bond will survive. Love you with all my heart.
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